By: C.G. Morelli
A few nights ago I saw a rerun of my favorite episode of The Office. In it, Michael Scott asks his employees to roast him. In typical Michael fashion, he’s completely blindsided when the jokes start to get personal. The following clip is his classic rebuttal:
So I thought: wouldn’t the world of sports be that much better if Michael Scott were at the helm? And the answer is most definitely NO…but I thought I’d give you a little glimpse anyway. Feel free to insert your own. That's what she said.
NFL - BOOM! Roasted.
Jay Cutler: Great game against the Packers. You looked cute on the sidelines in your Chicago Bears Snuggie. Boom! Roasted.
Tom Brady: You’re a bigger fruitcake than Cutler. I didn’t know Uggs were official team gear. Boom! Roasted.
Rex Ryan: Send your wife over. I’ve got a bunion. Roasted.
Ben Roethlisberger: Is that a comb in your pocket or are you trying to sexually assault me. Boom! Roasted.
Jeff Fisher: Fired. Roasted.
MLB – BOOM! Roasted.
Bud Selig: Great job keeping steroids out of baseball. Now my six year old nephew has chest hair. Boom! Roasted.
New York Mets: The Yankees called: You’re grounded this weekend. Boom! Roasted.
Milton Bradley: Parker Bros. called: Stop being such a DOUCHE! Boom. Roasted.
NBA – BOOM! Roasted.
Lebron James: You know how they say “you can never go home?” Roasted.
Ron Artest: Jeffrey Dahmer has more fans than you. Boom! Roasted.
New York Knicks: You haven’t done s%@& since Ewing left town. Boom! Roasted.
NHL – BOOM! Roasted.
Sidney Crosby: Jay Cutler called: He looks forward to watching the All Star game with you. Roasted.
Alex Ovechkin: You could score an “Ovech-trick” in every game this season and you’d still have a problem—you’re name’s not Crosby. Boom! Roasted.
Carolina Hurricanes: Great marketing team. The All Star game’s twenty minutes from my house and I just found out. Boom! Roasted.