Friday, December 3, 2010

The Most Miserable Fans on Earth

By: C.G. Morelli

Being a fan of any professional sports team is hard work.  You take the ups and downs of a grueling season just like the players, only without any of the control.  You obsess over waiver moves, trade deadlines, and salary caps.  Your eyes are trained to periodically glance from game to sports ticker and back to game without missing a second of the action.  But, I assure you, being a sports fan in any of the following cities is a whole different animal.  There’s no doubt that these are the homes of some of today’s most miserable fans.  

Seattle, Washington
From the days of Steve Largent to the current Hasselbeck-led version, the Seahawks have always been a tough out.  But they’ve always been out of the winner’s circle.  Seattle fans have seen their football team make it to the Super Bowl only once since the franchise was founded in 1976, and they lost in tear-your-heart-from-your-chest fashion to Tom Brady and the Patriots.

The M’s have also had their moments.  They won the AL Wildcard in 2000 and advanced to the ALCS where they lost to the Yankees.  Then, they put together a record 116-win season en route to another ALCS against the Yankees.  It was a punch to the gut for all Seattle residents when the Bombers trounced their Mariners in five games.  I’m sure the original departure of Ken Griffey, Jr. and the loss of A-Rod didn’t feel so great either. 

Oh, and the Sonics? I don't have the heart to go there.

Kansas City, Missouri
Marty Schottenheimer basically built his legacy as the biggest playoff loser during his tenure as head coach of the Chiefs.  He’s long since left the post, but the team has continued to disappoint under the last two coaching regimes despite having one of the most dominating rushing attacks the NFL has seen in the past decade. 

In a city that loves its football, the Chiefs’ plummet into NFL mediocrity is intolerable.  But at least the Kansas City faithful get some relief once summer rolls around, right?  Wrong.  Two words: Royals suck.  Five more words for the road: Not much relief in sight.

Buffalo, New York
If it’s not bad enough digging yourself from beneath three feet of snow every other day, imagine losing the Super Bowl every year…for four straight years.  It’s no secret that the Bills accomplished this feat from 1990 through 1993.  Things have only gotten worse since then.  Buffalo fans paint their chests and endure arctic temperatures every Sunday as they continue to wait for their first playoff berth since 1999.

But don’t despair Buffalonians, you still have the Sabres…although they’ve never won the Stanley Cup and seem to be doing their best impression of the city’s football team.  How many times is this team going to come up just short?  Even the Dominek the Dominator couldn’t get the Sabres over the hump.  Antacid shortages have been reported in upstate New York.

Cleveland, Ohio
Sweet misery has a penthouse apartment in downtown Cleveland.  Ladies and gentleman, we can ignore it no longer.  The fans in this city have had it rough.  Just think about it.

The Indians haven’t won the series since 1948.  And let’s just highlight a few of the more recent collapses this team has suffered during that span.  In Game 7 of the 1997 World Series, Jose Mesa blew a 2-1 Indian lead in the bottom of the ninth, which allowed the Marlins to win the series two innings later on a clutch hit by Edgar Renteria.   This past season, the Tribe held a 3-1 ALCS lead, only to watch it slip away to the Red Sox.  Let’s face it, the best thing to happen to this franchise in the past 50 years was the movie Major League.

What’s worse is that there’s not a Clevelander around who can remember the last time the Cavaliers won an NBA title.  That’s because it never happened.  Since the team’s founding in 1970, the Cavs have only made a single appearance in the Finals.  It came in 2007 and ended in a four game drubbing at the hands of the San Antonio Spurs…and that was with Lebron.

Let's not
 forget the Browns of the late 80’s.  Bernie Kosar led the team to three AFC Championships between 1986 and 1989.  Unfortunately, on all three occasions, a man named John Elway was there to greet the Browns at the door and send them all home crying to their mommies.

A final slap-shot to the face of all Cleveland fans, is the simple fact that a town like Columbus was found more attractive to hold an NHL franchise.  Columbus??  Really?? Wow. I guess you could always replace the hockey games with some Drew Carey re-runs.

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