Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Lost in Translation: NBA Finals Game Six Remix

"I need to play harder."

"It was a team win."

"They're a tough team. We had to keep fighting."

Guaranteed you can find these generic quotes, or some derivation of them, in any morning sports page in the universe. But players in the NBA are different, right? Guys like Metta World Peace have no trouble speaking their minds. They're walking sound bytes.

So, why can't we cut through the rah-rah tram crap during one of the more entertaining NBA Finals of the past decade?

I know, I know. Let the play on the floor speak for itself. Blah, Blah. Blah. The guy who coined that phrase probably invented every recycled sports quote in history. But if you want to be all holier than thou about it, fine. I'll let it slide.

But first I'm translating the mundane into the meaningful...because we're all doing it in our heads anyway. Admit it.

Chris Bosh on stopping Danny Green’s reign of terror in the land of three:
“We’ll see how he shoots it when somebody’s always on him.”

“There’s no chance we’re stopping this kid. I mean, this is the plan we’re sticking to after five games? Cover him? Uggh.”

Lebron James on how the Heat will push the series to a seventh game:
“I have to come up big, for sure, in Game 6.”

“Would any of y’all be able to identify a basketball if I didn’t play in this league? Seriously, it’s not complicated. I dunk on them.”

NBA front office on Game 6 officiating:
“Joey Crawford will lead the crew of officials in Game 6.”

“Joey Crawford will eject Tim Duncan early in the fourth quarter for something arbitrary, like creeping him out with his Eddie Munster smile, thus creating a controversy that will ruin the integrity of the NBA for years to come.”

Heat coach Erik Spoelstra on his team’s strategy in Game 6:
“Can we put together our best game on both sides of the floor in Game 6?”

“Can we put together our best game on both sides of the floor in Game 6? No, seriously. Can we? I don’t know. You can’t expect me to do everything. Already spent my whole day coming up with the Danny Green defense. Cover him. Beautiful. I came up with that. I was the guy.”

Dwyane Wade on facing the Spurs in Game 6:
“I mean, this is the kind of team that I feel capitalizes on any mistake you make.” 

“Can I get a little help? Chris? Lebron? Mario? Anyone?”

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