Showing posts with label hank aaron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hank aaron. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The 20 Greatest Baseball Quotes of All Time


Everybody loves a good sports quote. Ranging from witty insults to deep, sometimes spiritual, insights into life, a legendary line from our favorite athlete can serve as the inspiration that keeps you going, or as something that simply makes you laugh.

To me, no sport has contributed more generously to our supply of sports quotes than the game of baseball. You can easily spend endless hours reading through quotes relating to our nation’s pastime and trying to decide on a small list of favorites. Trust me. How do you think I came up with my list of The 20 Greatest Baseball Quotes of All-Time? Well, you didn’t think I’d keep them all to myself, did you?

So, grab yourself an ice-cold beer, some ballpark franks, and a few bags of peanuts and have a look for yourself. And don’t worry, you can toss the shells on the floor…we don’t mind.

Baseball’s 20 Greatest Quotes

20. Honus Wagner, Pittsburgh Pirates

“There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if you’re a ballplayer.”

19. Lou Piniella, Cubs Manager

“Statistics are like bikinis. They show a lot, but never everything.”

18. Leo Durocher, Dodgers Manager
“I have never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.”

17. Al Stump, Ty Cobb Biographer

“Was Ty Cobb psychotic throughout his playing career? The answer is yes.”

16. Richie Ashburn, Philadelphia Phillies

“A good lead-off hitter is a pain in the ass to pitchers.”

15. Rocky Bridges, Minor League Manager

“There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than anyone else: build a fire, run a hotel, and manage a baseball team.”

14. Cy Young, Boston Red Sox

“A man who isn’t willing to work from dreary morn till weary eve shouldn’t think about becoming a pitcher.”

13. Hank Aaron, Atlanta Braves

“The pitcher has got only a ball. I’ve got a bat. So the percentage in weapons is in my favor and I let the fellow with the ball do the fretting.”

12. Mike Schmidt, Philadelphia Phillies

“Anytime you think you have the game conquered, the game will turn around and punch you right in the nose.”

11. Durwood Merrill, AL Umpire

“Baseball is the only sport that lets the managers and coaches go out onto the field and rant and rave”

10. Willie Mays, New York Giants

Interviewer: “Willie, how do you compare this catch with other catches you’ve made?”
Willie Mays: “I don’t compare ‘em, I catch ‘em.”

9. Johnny Bench, Cincinnati Reds

“Slumps are like a soft bed…they’re easy to get into and hard to get out of.”

8. Casey Stengel, Mets Manager

“Come out and see my Amazin’ Mets. I been in the game a hundred years but I see new ways to lose I never knew existed.”

7. Stan Coveleski, Washington Senators

“Lord, baseball is a worryin’ thing.”

6. Tug McGraw, Philadelphia Phillies

“Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women…and the other ten percent I wasted.”

5. Yogi Berra, New York Yankees

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hittin’.”

4. Ted Williams, Boston Red Sox

“All I want out of life is that when I walk down the street folks will say, ‘There goes the greatest hitter that ever lived.’”

3. Jim Bouton, New York Yankees

“You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball; and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.”

2. Lou Gehrig, New York Yankees

“Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth…”

1. W.P. Kinsella, Author of Shoeless Joe (adapted to the screen as Field of Dreams)

“The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again.”

It goes without saying that objectivity is not something you can really apply to a list such as this. Therefore, it’s inevitable one or more of your favorite quotes went missing. Post your favorite in the comments.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Golf's 20 Most Hilarious Quotes

By: C.G. Morelli

The green of the grass. The cool, fresh air. The sound of grown men insulting their friends' sisters as small white balls bounce aimlessly off surrounding oaks. This is golf: the sport of gentlemen.

But for a sport that is so civilized, how can you explain why a private course would allow a buffoon like myself to take huge chunks out of its fairways with my meat cleaver of a wedge?  It’s because golf is the sport that takes an uncivilized lump of coal like myself, and molds him like clay into a refined young man of substance. Ok, maybe not.

That’s why I’ve compiled a list of golf quotes that exposes the game for what it truly is: an excuse to light a few cigars and talk a bunch of smack with the boys. So stuff a fat Macanudo between your teeth, throw on a pair of goofy, plaid knickers, and enjoy some of Golf’s most hilarious one-liners. Take as many mulligans as you’d like.

Golf’s 20 Most Hilarious Quotes

20. "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman

19. "I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald Ford

18. "Golf is a game in which a ball - one and a half inches in diameter - is placed on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter; the object being to hit the small ball but not the larger." - John Cunningham

17. "I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot." - Don Adams

16. "After hitting two balls into the water, by God, I've got a good mind to jump in and make it four." - Simon Hobday

15. "Some have psychologists, some have sportologists. I smoke." - Angel Cabrera

14. "Pressure is playing for $10 when you don't have a dime in your pocket." - Lee Trevino

13. "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." - Jimmy Demaret

12. "Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it." - Ted Ray

11. "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf... and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf." - Jack Benny

10. "The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life." - Chi Chi Rodriquez

9."Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five." - John Updike

8."If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death." - Sam Snead

7. "I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?" - Babe Ruth

6. "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands’ work." - Lee Trevino

5. "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." - Hank Aaron

4. "The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller

3. "I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." - Lee Trevino

2. "After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye." - Chi Chi Rodriguez

1. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." - Tiger Woods