At the Table With...Baseball Legends

We’ve all heard the obligatory conversation starter before: “If you could have dinner with an influential person, who would it be and why?” Ah, the sounds of a high school history class…except without all the snoring and with only half the amount of drool.

Believe me, I’m not asking you to relive it with me because, seriously, those conversations usually turned out to be as exciting as a Florida Marlins home game.

Personally, I always thought it’d be more interesting to think about what you’d actually say to these people as they were huddled around your kitchen table. What would you serve them? What in the hell would they say to you?

Ok, so maybe I think about pointless stuff a little too much. But I only do it so you, the faithful readers, don’t have to.

I’m a baseball guy, so let me share with you the top five ballplayers throughout history that I’d dine with. But I’ll even take it the extra mile for you. I’ll let you in on our conversations.

5. Alex Rodriguez

The Meal: An assorted tray of creams, jellies, and exotic antler sprays

The Conversation: 

CG: I’m glad you decided to stop by, A-Rod. Hey, you tired of that name yet? I know I am.

A-Rod: Big time. Thinking about starting a movement to change it. Maybe something like #50Cent_aur or #Lil_Shrink_Rod would work. Gain a little street cred , you know?

CG: No. I don't. But speaking of cred...how do you see the whole Biogenesis thing shaking out?

A-Rod: Does it really matter? There's a pretty good chance I nailed Madonna. 

CG: What does that have to do with anything? I mean, you're facing a pretty stiff suspension.

A-Rod: You said stiff. 

CG: Yes, Mr. Centaur, I did. Try to stay with me here. Don't you think this scandal will leave fans with a pretty grim outlook on your entire career?

A-Rod: Once again, the Madonna thing. Plus, don't tell Cashman but I'm about to cash his ass out over the next four years. I don't even have to play. I can just sit back, visualize the next six posters I'll have printed with my head attached to the body of a mythological creature, and collect my millions.

CG: Weird. Very weird. But hard to argue with you.

A-Rod: You know, you're starting to sound a lot like Bud Selig.

CG: Ok, I think this dinner's over.

4. Joe DiMaggio

The Meal: Veal Parmigiana and a pack of Marlboro Reds

The Conversation:

CG: Joe, I’ll always be in awe of your 56-game hitting streak. How’d you deal with the pressure?

Joe D: Trust me, it was easier than being married to Marilyn.

CG: High maintenance?

Joe D: You don’t know the half of it.

CG: Was it worth all the trouble?

Joe D: NO!!!  Well, yes.

CG: Shocking.

3. Pete Rose

The Meal: Bread and water

The Conversation:

CG: Sorry about the skimpy meal, Mr. Rose. You know, economy’s not all too good these days.

Rose: Don’t mention it. Besides, it happens to be one of my favorites. I used to refer to it as the after-parlay special back in Cincy.

CG: Sounds, um, healthy. Speaking of health, what’s your take on the whole Biogenesis scandal?

Rose: I’d be willing to bet more than half the league was using performance enhancers.

CG: Uh, are you sure you wouldn’t like to rephrase that last statement?

Rose: Why?

CG: Never mind….So how 'bout those Phillies?

2. Ty Cobb

The Meal: Fried chicken, collards, biscuits, and gravy

The Conversation:

CG: It’s an honor to have you, Mr. Cobb. I’m a huge fan. I celebrate your entire body of work.

Ty: I don’t know where you think this dinner is headed, boy, but you best leave my body out of it.

CG: What?

Ty: You know what I’m gettin’ at, you yella-bellied pretty boy.

CG: Actually, I don’t.

Ty: Look, just eat your damn chicken and zip your lip.

CG: …

Ty: That’s better. Now finish all your vegetables before I sharpen my spikes on that big old nose of yourn.

CG: Mr. Cobb, it’s been real.

1. Yogi Berra

The Meal: A bowl of Cap’n Crunch

The Conversation:

CG: Boy am I glad to be sitting here with you, Yogi…a man known for his dialogue.

Yogi: Well, they say a man’s dialogue is his treasure.

CG: Who says that?
Yogi: Well, it ain’t us, so it must be them.

CG: Of course it ain’t us, but who is “them?”

Yogi: All the people who think a man’s dialogue is his treasure.

CG: But I never heard anyone ever say that.

Yogi: What do you mean? I just said it two minutes ago.

CG: Are you sure you weren’t just reading random stuff off the back of the cereal box?

Yogi: Uhhh….ummm…It ain’t over till it’s over!

CG: What the…? Oh, forget it. Where’s Ty Cobb when you need him?

A-Rod's Five Greatest Faux Pas...in Hindsight

Unless you were locked in the hole of a federal prison the past three days, you may have heard a thing or two about Alex Rodriguez. His implication in the latest Biogenesis scandal and the inevitable suspension that will follow is about as obvious as a hard-on during Math class. But really...didn't we all see this coming? I know I did.

Apparently, no one told A-Rod...even while he was bathing in muscle cream and transforming his body into the near likeness of a mythological centaur. If someone had bothered to tell him, maybe he wouldn't have spent his entire career making the most hypocritical statements in sports history.

Take a look and remember: hindsight is 20/20. God, I love hindsight.


5. "We have a responsibility not just as athletes, but as members of society to treat people well. To do things the right way."


4. "What I've learned from Cal is to respect the game, respect the fans. Nothing fancy out there. Just do your job."


3. "Anyone can forget about talent, but if you're a good person, your name will be remembered a long time."


2. "I want to be known as a good major-leaguer, and good major-leaguers work to become good."


1. "There is a difference between image and reputation. Image is nice, reputation is developed over an entire career. Reputation is what I'm searching for."


Yes, Alex, it appears as though you've earned quite the reputation. Congratulations.

The World Series: An American Legacy

By: C.G. Morelli

A game played by “the boys of summer” seems a bit out of place in the chilly days of October.  But, it’s during this autumn month when the Major League Baseball season winds down with one of the most exciting events in all of sports, the World Series. 

Over the course of a few weeks, teams slug it out in the playoffs, trying to earn a spot in our country’s most celebrated championship series.  But it hasn’t been around forever.  Just how did the World Series begin?

The Very First World Series

As far back as the 1880’s, head-to-head grudge matches had taken place between the top teams in various leagues.  Many of these contests featured long series of up to fifteen games and were not taken very seriously by players or spectators.  But in 1903 something special happened. 

For the first time, the well-known National League was feeling a lot of competition from a brand new league, which called itself the American League.  Many fans, who once believed the National League far more talented than the American League, began to wonder what would happen if the best team from each were to square off.  Managers on both sides saw a competition between them as a way to attract more interest in the game, and also to see who was best once and for all. 

At the end of the season, it was agreed that a tournament would be played between the two best teams in each league.  They decided to name it the World Series.

The mighty Pittsburgh Pirates, champions of the National League, took on the American League winners, the Boston Pilgrims in the best-of-nine series.  Everyone expected the Pirates, led by their star shortstop, Honus Wagner, to defeat the Pilgrims easily.  But it quickly became clear that Wagner would not be a factor.  He finished the series with only six hits, while committing six errors in the field.  Instead, a young pitcher from Boston named Bill Dineen stole the show, pitching four shutouts in the series to lead the Pilgrims to a surprising victory. 

When the team returned to Boston, fans swarmed the field at Huntington Avenue Grounds hoping to catch a glimpse of baseball’s first World Champions.  The grudge match between the two leagues created so much interest in the game of baseball that they decided to continue it every year.  The World Series has now been played for more than a century.  

           

Continuing the Tradition

Over the years, the World Series has changed only slightly, in order to make it the most competitive and exciting event it could possibly be.  In 1922, the length of the World Series was shortened to a best-of-seven series, as it remains today.  In 1969, the playoffs were created, giving more teams a chance to compete for a spot in the World Series.  In 1994, the commissioner of baseball added the Wildcard Round to the playoffs.  Many current baseball fans will agree that this feature has made the game even more exciting at the end of the season than it had been in the past.  As a result, the playoffs last a bit longer, pushing the World Series slightly later into the fall.  It is now common for the series to end in November rather than October.

Overall, however, the World Series we enjoy today has not changed much since the time of Honus Wagner and Bill Dineen.   The Fall Classic, as it has come to be known, still pits the best team in the National League against the best the American League has to offer.  It is still the grand stage for some of the greatest athletes in sports, and it still attracts the interest of millions of fans worldwide.  Most importantly, the dream of playing in a World Series some day is still fresh in the minds of many young boys and girls.

Into the Record Books

• On October 10, 1920, Bill Wambsganss of the Cleveland Indians completed the only unassisted triple play in World Series history.

• In game five of the 1956 World Series, Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitched the only perfect game in series history by not allowing a single runner to reach base in nine innings.

• On October 12, 1982, Paul Molitor of the Milwaukee Brewers became the only player in history to record five hits in a single World Series game.

• Yankees closer, Mariano Rivera, holds the all-time record for recording the final out in four World Series championships.

Why We Love This Crazy Game Called Baseball

By: C.G. Morelli

It occurred to me a while back while watching an inter-league game between the Mets and Mariners (of all teams) that I really love this game. No, I mean I REALLY love this game. To those of you who are forced to listen to the incessant ravings of my maniacal, baseball-saturated brain matter wax poetic about the savage ballet that is the suicide squeeze (sorry, honey), this is no real surprise. In fact, I was quite aware of my addiction long before this random yet unforgettable game, when a chubby but loveable youngster named Felix Hernandez pitched his way to…wait a minute…this box score can’t be correct. Did Felix freakin’ Hernandez really hit a grand slam?

And that, my friends, is exactly how I realized why I love this game so much. It’s for the simple fact that on any night, in any ball park, whether there’s a match up between division rivals or division doormats, you could see something you’d never dreamed would have happened.

Of course, King Felix’s little dinger was not the most classic example of one of these amazing instances. It served as little more than a reminder. But perhaps if I set the stage I can help you relish in a few of baseball’s more magical moments.

Yes, then you’ll see where I’m coming from.

“The Catch”

The time:  September 24, 1954

The place:  Polo Grounds (Brooklyn, NY)

The situation:  Game One of the World Series between the Giants and Indians

With the score tied 2-2 in the top of the eighth inning, Vic Wertz of the Indians sent a drive to the deepest part of center field.  Giants centerfielder, Willie Mays, turned and sprinted all the way back to the fence to make an amazing over-the-shoulder catch.  Some say the ball traveled almost 450 feet before landing in his glove, but Mays wasn’t finished.  He whirled around in mid-stride and fired a bullet to second base to prevent a run from scoring.  Mays had single-handedly stopped the Indians from taking the lead.  The Giants went on to win the game in extra innings and they eventually swept the Indians to win the series.

“The Shot Heard ‘Round the World”

The time:  October 3, 1951

The place:  Polo Grounds (Brooklyn, NY)

The situation:  Playoff series to determine the pennant between the Giants and Dodgers

In just over a month, the Giants caught the Dodgers in the standings despite once trailing by 13 ½ games.  The Giants’ late push caused the two teams to finish in a tie.  To decide which team would move on to face the Yankees in the World Series, the league held a three-game playoff series. 

With the series tied a game a piece, the Dodgers built a 4-1 lead in game three that they carried into the bottom of the ninth.  It looked like the series was over.  But the Giants fought back, scoring a run and putting two more runners on base.  Then, Bobby Thomson stepped to the plate and smashed a dramatic three-run homer over the left field fence to win the game and the series.  He would forever be known for firing “the shot heard ‘round the world.”

“The Called Shot”

The time:  October 1, 1932

The place:  Wrigley Field (Chicago, IL)

The situation:  Game Three of the World Series between the Yankees and Cubs

After winning the first two games of the series in New York, Babe Ruth led his Yankees into Chicago.  He angered Chicago fans by promising that his team would sweep the series from the Cubs.  When Ruth took the field in game three, he was greeted by flying vegetables tossed at him from the stands.  Ruth responded by clobbering two homeruns in the game, one of which goes down in baseball legend.

It is said that Ruth stepped to the plate and pointed to a spot beyond the right field fence.  Then he took a mighty swing and hammered the next pitch out of the park to the exact spot where he had pointed.  The Yankees would go on to sweep the Cubs in the series, but it was Ruth’s famous “called shot” that would become one of the most storied events in baseball history.

“True Grit”

The time:  October 15, 1988

The place:  Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles, CA)

The situation:  Game One of the World Series between the Dodgers and the A’s

Kirk Gibson only had one at-bat in the 1988 World Series, but he made it count.  He was nursing multiple leg injuries and many of his teammates told reporters that the slugger could barely walk.  Dodger fans were sad to hear that he would probably not play at all in the series. 

But, in the very first game, with his team down 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth and with Hall of Fame closer Dennis Eckersley on the mound, Gibson limped out of the dugout to the surprise of everyone.  He told Dodgers manager, Tommy Lasorda, that there was one more swing left in him. 

Barely able to hold himself upright at the plate, Gibson drilled a game-winning two-run homer into the right field bleachers.  He limped around the bases amid the wild celebration of nearly 56,000 fans.  Inspired by the slugger’s incredible feat, the Dodgers went on to win the World Series over the A’s in just five games.

Every time I think of baseball, it is with the images of these crucial moments swirling through my mind. They are what define the game for me and allow me to appreciate baseball’s past, present, and future. They are what help me to never forget why I love the game so much.

So, now it’s your turn. What moments help you remember why you love baseball?

Baseball and Haiku...A Match Made in Heaven

By: C.G. Morelli

hai⋅ku (hahy – koo) n.  1. An ancient form of Japanese poetry consisting of three lines and a 5-7-5 syllabic pattern.

Now I know poetry is probably the last thing on the minds of baseball fans at this time of year…heck, at any time of year. But I’m here to tell you Haiku doesn’t need to be imprisoned within the elementary confines of a second grade classroom.

Please allow me to bring it back into the fold for you. Why? Because with about 50 days remaining until Opening Day and no football to satisfy my thirst for sports, I’m bored out of my mind.

I’m sure you are too.

That’s right, I’m talking to you Mr. Avid Sports Fan who’s craftily reading this article in your cubicle with your left eye while keeping a vigilant watch on the door to your boss’s office with your right eye. Don’t despair, my friend. Together, we can whittle away the idle moments until Opening Day and extinguish our work day boredom simultaneously.

I took the liberty of getting the ball rolling, but it’s hard for me to say I’ve compiled on this page the greatest list of baseball Haiku known to man. After all, poems like these can be whipped up in no time flat. So basically, the following Haikus happen to be the best I was able to create in the last 15 minutes.

That’s why I need your help. You never know if the greatest baseball Haiku poem of all time is lounging around in your brain just waiting to be unleashed. Please join me in creating the definitive list of baseball Haiku. I promise I’ll keep ‘em coming too.

Here’s A Hearty Helping of Baseball Haiku:

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I love Don Zimmer

He got in Pedro’s face once

Even though he’s old

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Beer here! Cold beer here!

I’m reaching for my wallet

I don’t have twelve bucks

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Manny, oh Manny

Won’t you come back to Fenway?

Who the hell needs ya?

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Pete Rose was the best

Who cares about gambling, just

Put him in the Hall

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I love baseball but

MLB is a nightmare

Why is Bud in charge?

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The Phils won the series

Will somebody please pinch me?

It might be a dream.

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White ball falling fast

He runs, he dives, he catches

Runner stops and swears

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Steinbrenner had kids

That took over the Yankees.

They’ll make it worse, though

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The baseball Afro…

When will it come back in style?

I miss it dearly

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Little Earl Weaver

Had a very big mouth and

The O’s need him back

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Philly’s Fanatic

Is clearly the best mascot

In baseball today

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The pitchers report

The air is getting warmer

It’s almost that time…

The Unbreakable Record

By: C.G. Morelli

May 15, 1941- Joe DiMaggio, the Yankee Clipper, ripped a single off White Sox pitcher Eddie Smith. He was a wiry, young Italian-American who had learned the game of baseball on the sandlots of San Francisco and had grown to play centerfield for the New York Yankees. He didn’t know it at the time, but his hit off Smith had just set him on a journey to accomplish one of the most incredible feats in baseball history. DiMaggio would record a hit in 56 straight games, setting a Major League record that may never be broken. 

Of course, while riding his amazing streak, DiMaggio rose to the rank of instant superstar. His name, littered with vowels in all the wrong places, became one of household commonality. Americans flocked to the front of busy newsstands and department stores so they could read the headlines or listen to radio broadcasts about Joltin’ Joe. Even Major League players, including DiMaggio’s own brother Dom, an outfielder with the Boston Red Sox, received updates on Joe’s performance while on the playing field themselves. There was not a man, woman, or child in America that wasn’t completely hooked on DiMaggio’s heroics.

And who could blame them? The simple fact was that, no matter what the circumstances, Joltin’ Joe would always come through with a clutch hit to extend the streak another day. And he did so for just over two months, racking up 91 hits (including 15 dingers), 65 RBI, and 56 runs scored…all in just 56 games.

All Good Things Come to an End     

On July 17, DiMaggio took a taxi to Yankee Stadium where he would attempt to extend the streak to 57 games. The driver, a life-long Yankees fan, told Joe he had a bad feeling the streak would end that day. DiMaggio smiled and shook the man’s hand as he stepped out of the cab. Then he calmly strolled to the locker room and suited up for game number 57. He smashed two hard liners in the game, but both were gobbled up by White Sox third baseman, Ken Keltner. Pitcher, Jim Bagby, held Joe hitless in his final two at bats and that was that...the streak was broken. 

Somewhere in New York City a taxi driver felt like stabbing himself in the eye with a white-hot poker for possibly jinxing his favorite player. “I felt awful,” Joe said of the cab driver after the game, “He might have spent his whole life thinking he’d jinxed me, but I told him he hadn’t. My number was up.” The very next day, DiMaggio started a new streak that lasted 16 more games…which meant he had recorded a hit in 72 out of 73 games. Now there’s a stat that’ll make your head spin around like that possessed chick from The Exorcist.  

Big Brother

Dominic DiMaggio must have picked up some magic from his younger brother because, in 1949, it was his turn in the spotlight. From June 26 to August 7, Dom went on a 34 game hitting streak. He piled up 51 hits, 35 runs, and 13 RBI. His last chance to push the streak to 35 games came on August 9, in the seventh inning of a game against the Yankees. Dom hit a long fly ball that landed harmlessly in the glove of the centerfielder, who happened to be his kid brother, Joe DiMaggio. It was rumored Joe felt so bad about ending his brother’s streak he took him out for a steak dinner after the game.

Charlie Hustle

In 1978, a young star named Pete Rose began the only modern streak ever to rival DiMaggio’s mark. Between June 14 and July 31, Charlie Hustle dished out 72 hits and batted nearly .400 while running his streak to 44 games. Many experts at the time believed he was on his way to breaking DiMaggio’s record. But on August 1, Braves’ pitcher Gene Garber, struck out Rose in his final at-bat of the game. Imagine the frustration Rose must have felt after delivering a knock in 44 straight, only to look up and notice he was still a dozen donuts shy of the Clipper. That’s the kind of stuff that can drive a man to drinking…or gambling. Hmm. That’s odd.

A Streak with a Twist

The most recent streak of any serious note was turned in by Phillies’ shortstop, Jimmy Rollins.  During the final months of the 2005 season, Rollins delivered 61 hits.  He knocked in 22 runs and stole 15 bases while building up a 36 game hitting streak.  Then he met his worst enemy…the end of the season.  Rollins was forced to take his streak into the off season and resume it again in April of 2006.  He added a few more games to the total, but on April 6 Jason Marquis of the Cardinals halted J-Rolls’ streak at 38, still 18 games shy of DiMaggio’s record.

The Last Streak Standing

The mark of 56 straight games with a hit is one that DiMaggio has held for over 65 years.  No modern player has come within 12 games of tying this mark and many (including this writer) believe it is a record that will stand as long as people play baseball. There’s really no question that DiMaggio completed one of the greatest feats in baseball history during the summer of ‘41.